mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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