He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
ok first of all what the fuck
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
