Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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