you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
