I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i love accidental penises.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
