is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
