it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
