For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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