Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
