@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize