i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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