why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize