So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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