Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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