I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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