super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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