so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
