my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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