I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
