I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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