I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
