your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
