I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
