That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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