she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Randomize
