I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
