I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
