Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
