More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
