My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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