my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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