I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you never un-have a 4some
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
