you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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