why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
