At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
