we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
