one two three fourrrrnication!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
