i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
