We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
