you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
