He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
