My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
