WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
