omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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