don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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