Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is wine microwaveable?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
