But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
