i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
