he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
either way he was missing a nipple.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
