i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
