I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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