Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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