I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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